When a parent reports that their child is a “picky eater,” I always follow with a question about what they eat for breakfast. The answer is almost always, “Oh, she eats A LOT for breakfast!” In fact, many parents of toddlers report that their child eats multiple breakfasts! Yes, they are supposed to! Like a car without gas, we wake up every morning with our gas tank empty. However, the fuel needed is NOT empty caloric, sugary, processed, floury foods and fruit. The fuel needed is iron-rich animal meats, legumes, vegetables, small portions of fruits, complex carbs, healthy fats and for vegetarians that includes a blend of leafy greens, beans, seeds, nuts. Also, these foods should be served savory and not sweet.
Do an experiment. Start your own day with a bowl of cereal and a banana. See how long you can go staying focused on your work before you feel drained and hungry. Start your next day with organic eggs chopped and blended with potatoes, kale, eggs and peppers drizzled with olive oil and seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic. Wow! I guarantee you’ll be focused and satiated for double if not triple the amount of time. Not only that, but large iron-rich savory breakfasts are also associated with decreased urges to snack throughout the day, leading to optimal weight and weight loss in those who are overweight.
Start now! If you’re nursing your baby, start eating a healthy breakfast! Good nutrition choices can positively impact your health and habits and your baby’s. Let your baby start to taste these savory (rather than sweet) foods through your milk. At 6 months, when your baby is ready to eat, serve him vegetables, not fruit and cereal. *This topic will be covered in another post as I feel so strongly about baby’s first foods.
Why is my child so picky? From around the age of 2 years old, children have a significantly decreased interest in dinner particularly and are therefore classified as “picky.” There are multiple reasons for this:
1. Kids appetites fluctuate from day to day/week to week as they are not growing consistently anymore. Kids grow in spurts after the age of 2.
2. We don’t need large meals before we go to sleep at night. Children are innately aware of this. In many cultures around the world, the largest meals are in the middle of the day with a lighter meal in the evening.
3. Toddlers especially are very busy and need to graze rather than sit for three square meals each day.
4. Dinner is served late; the sun is setting. Once the sun starts to set, the body starts to produce melatonin, which brings on sleep. If your toddler is served a late dinner, he may simply just not feel the need to eat. A sleepy child is not hungry and is typically irritable.
5. They had too many snacks in the late afternoon when they were starving, and now they
aren’t hungry for dinner.
6. They can sense the adults’ stress of the day, which leaves them without an appetite.
7. They lack proper role models. Parents who skip meals/eat differently from their child are not providing crucial visual examples of healthy eating habits.
In the U.S., parents traditionally offer a ‘meat and vegetable’ dinner and offer sweets for breakfast like cereal and fruit. Parents are often rushed in the morning getting themselves to work and children to school/daycare. They don’t allow proper, quality time for breakfast. But kids are the MOST hungry in the morning! Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day—especially for kids! Learn more about the significance of starting off the day with a healthy breakfast. Click here to read this study.
*Almost all kids including teens are most hungry in the morning and the standard American diet (SAD) typically contains nothing more than a bowl of cereal or nothing at all for most teens altogether. A ‘big’ breakfast in a SAD includes pancakes, waffles, muffins, bagels, toast, sugary oatmeal, yogurt and fruits.
It is important to instill good habits and practices, as well as educate your child as early as possible on the significance of healthy eating and habits.
“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” —Hippocrates
When your child refuses to eat, consider the idea that they simply aren’t hungry. From age 2 to their teenage years (where they will in fact eat you out of house and home), growth comes in spurts. This is why your child may go through a whole season wearing the same shoes! Trust them. They will eat when they are hungry.
Don’t feed your child what they like just to get them to eat. Also, please don’t put on their favorite show (or worse give them an iPad) just to get them to eat. These are the first steps to causing your child to become “picky” in the first place. If you’re giving your child what he likes just to get him to eat day after day—stop now. It is never too late to begin better habits!
Consider the idea that your child, particularly toddlers, are way too busy to sit for a full meal. Offer them their meal and when they don’t finish it, put it in a thermos to keep and offer the same meal when they look for a “snack.” There’s no place for snacks, especially for toddlers. They will very easily fill up on the empty calories of a snack that parents offer because they tend to be packaged and easy to offer as a result.
Follow these few rules to help your child overcome picky eating habit:
*Your kitchen is not a restaurant. Feed your child what you eat (parents, this is important as well; you also must eat and role model, more on this below).
*Vary the menu. If you feed your child the same foods day after day, they will very quickly become anxious over the ‘new’ green food on their plate and quickly take on a “picky” character.
*Always remember to make the largest meal in the morning. This is when they are the most hungry and include the “meat and vegetable” meal that they may refuse to eat for dinner. Offer new foods for breakfast—not eggs and potatoes every day. I like the 3-4 day rotation menu (if you have the interest, desire and ability, choose a 7-day menu!). The 3-4 day rotation is a breakfast menu that has a new meal every 3-4 days and then repeats.
I love the book Simplicity Parenting by K. John Payne. Refer to the chapter ‘Routines and Rituals.’ It offers an efficient, economical and practical guide for families to meal plan. However, the author of course talks about dinner. So, replace that with breakfast.
You can be your child’s best role model! So many parents I talk to tell me that they don’t eat breakfast! Not only are you missing out on the most important meal of the day, you're also losing out on the opportunity to role model this healthy behavior for your kids. Use your time and resources that you would otherwise put towards dinner and put them towards breakfast. Take the time to prepare the meal, even if that means cooking multiple meals on Sunday so that they are ready and need only to be heated up during the week. If dinner is something you simply cannot give up, then make larger portions so there are leftovers to offer with breakfast.
Eat an early dinner. Many of my families who have multiple children who play sports in the afternoon and evening love the idea of dinner early in the evening—around 3/4:00 p.m. (for traditional students this is the time after school when they tend to be very hungry and tend to snack). This is also helpful for adults who may dread the idea of ‘cooking and cleaning up’ after dinner well after the sun has set. So, another option is to eat like a European and have dinner early and then maybe a very light meal at “dinner time.”
Start saying ‘breakfast table’ rather than ‘dinner table’. When you start to rethink breakfast, your journey as a more healthy family will begin. Not only will you stop fighting with your child to eat their vegetables, you’ll find evenings easier with more time to spend together like going for a walk, playing a board game, or watching a movie rather than cooking and cleaning (and fighting).
There is still a place for pancakes! There is nothing that replaces the buttery, fluffy sweetness of pancakes. Food is medicine, but it’s also a celebration. So, make pancakes, indulge in Belgium waffles with creamy ice cream, and savor a perfectly fresh, warm bagel with cream cheese. But make those foods the exception not the rule. Make them a special time together and create memories that will transcend generations for you and your healthy, happy family!
Remember, these changes might not be successful overnight—and that's ok! Be patient and know that you are on a healthy path with your family! Enjoy the journey and your achievements along the way!
“Feeding my kids dinner for breakfast has been a game changer!”
—Mom of 3
Did you find these tips helpful? If you would like to seek additional support with Jennifer Zethner, RN, MS, CPNP, Holistic Pediatric Nurse Practitioner/Holistic Primary Care, please call the Northport Wellness Center at (631) 262-8505.
About Jennifer Zethner, RN, MS, CPNP
Jennie Zethner has been working with children since 1995. She graduated with her Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from Adelphi University in 1995 and she received her Master of Science and Pediatric Nurse Practitioner (PNP) degrees from Stony Brook University in 2000. She is certified by the Pediatric Nursing Certification Board.
Jennie is blessed to be a mom of three children since 2002. Combined with her professional and personal experiences with children, Jennie is passionately dedicated to her privately owned unique pediatric practice; Simply Pediatrics, which is located close to her hometown.
Jennie provides primary care to children ages 0-21y from a holistic perspective. At every well-child and sick visit, Jennie’s goal is to optimize your child’s health, avoiding the common obstacles that can lead to illness and including parents in the health decisions of their child.
Jennie’s approach is unique. With over 25 years of experience, she can easily identify the present and potential obstacles and triggers that lead to the root causes of so many of the chronic childhood conditions we see today including colic, constipation, eczema, asthma, allergies, chronic ear infections, chronic congestion and cough, picky eaters, developmental delays, speech delays, academic issues, autism, chronic strep, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, depression, sleep issues and so on.
