For some children, especially those with special needs, transitioning from one environment to another is overwhelming. Unfamiliar sights and sounds, large crowds, or even just the physical act of moving from one place to another may be frightening. Parents may feel equally challenged and frustrated as a result of their child’s discomfort. Dealing with a child’s transition issues is not easy but there are several things you can do to help make them more manageable.
The following are suggestions on helping your child deal with environmental transitions:
Discuss transitions beforehand. Making your child aware in advance of an impending transition may help to ease his anxiety. “We are going to a birthday party for Grandpa. There will be a lot of really nice people there. There will also be music and balloons and yummy cake!” Keep your sentences simple and repeat them several times. Give your child something to look forward to, for example, the balloons and cake, and reassure him that you will be there right along side him, having fun together.
Make a list. If your child can read, make a list of your daily activities. Giving him his own visual reminder of what will come next in his day will reassure him that each activity is temporary. It also gives him a sense of control to know in advance what to expect.
Show pictures. Offer your child a preview of a place he has never been to. Planning a trip to Sesame Place? Go online and take a virtual tour of the hotel you plan to stay at, and show him all the different characters, rides and attractions. Let him know that while your family will be traveling to a very big place, it will be one that is safe and fun because you are all together.
Expose your child to various sounds. There are a variety of CDs, etc. that can increase a child’s comfort level to specific sounds.
Expose a child that becomes anxious in a restaurant to “restaurant noise,” and a child going to a farm for the first time to pre-recorded animal sounds.
"You should feel proud that your child has learned to use one comfort item to find comfort somewhere else. "
Allow him to bring a comfort item from home. If letting your child bring his raggedy old teddy bear to a birthday party, restaurant or mall will help him to feel more comfortable, let him. If you think he is too old to be seen with his bear, place it in a back pack so that it can be “protected.” You should feel proud that your child has learned to use one comfort item to find comfort somewhere else.
Inform others of your child’s challenges. Be proactive. If your child is intimidated by large crowds, give the host of the party a heads up, not to approach him immediately with overwhelming greetings and cheek pinches. Let her know that when you arrive with your child, you plan on easing into the crowd, depending on his comfort level. Make others aware that your child’s challenges do not mean that he or you are antisocial, but rather, you are working together to combat his legitimate fears. Also, if your child fares better dining at the rear of the restaurant versus the center, request a booth in the back to help make his experience more pleasurable.
Practice. If your child was invited to a birthday party at a movie theatre and he has never been, ask the theatre manager for a brief tour of the facilities beforehand. Take short trips to the grocery store, picking up a few items at a time, to help your child deal with stimulating environments. Also, pretend-play is a great way to simulate different environments and experiences and practice various solutions to dealing with them.
Know when to call it quits. “Torture” should not be in any young child’s vocabulary. If your child stuck it out for a considerable amount of time and still is uncomfortable in his environment, compassionately remove him. Not all battles are won on the first day.
Do not be intimidated by others. Every parent has gotten “the stare” at some point in their parenting career. You know your child best. If he is experiencing sensory overload in a restaurant, has a meltdown as a result, and you feel that hugging him versus reprimanding him would best calm him down, do it, regardless of what other people think or say.
Reassure your child with your presence and praise. Even if your child appears to be handling a new environment well – a family reunion with lots of children, for example – a quick wink with a smile or a pat on the back every now and then will reassure him that you are there if he needs you. Let him know you are proud of him for his courage and independence.
Seek professional assistance. If your child has been diagnosed with a disability that may explain his anxiety about transitioning, such as autism, for example, there may be more specific reasons for his challenges and more specialized solutions to help him overcome them. Understanding your child’s fears in general – being sensitive to his feelings – will also help you to connect and gain a better perspective on what your child is facing.
When dealing with your child’s challenges, it is important that you stay calm and focused. Be patient. Some challenges take time to overcome. Give your child the constant, kind and gentle reassurance he needs to feel confident so he can overcome his current challenges with transitions or any other future obstacles.
